Do you dream when you sleep? Dreams that you can remember? Whether it is a small dream or a long dream, dreams can really play a role in your life, or at least I think they do in my life. I know my dreams are just things my brain is playing out from what is going on in my life. I have had dreams as far back as I can remember and I know when I wake up that it is just my brain trying to make sense of things that are going on in my life. I have reoccurring dreams and those that I can not even remember.
Recently, since I have moved, I have been dreaming every night about people that have been in my life at some point. People that I have not seen in my life for more then 25 years or people that have been in my life throughout the years. I know these people played a role in my life then and I know they play a role in my life now. Now after 7 weeks of living here and having a different dream every night, it is just my brain trying to make sense of what I have just done. Moving and leaving people in my life that I have either saw everyday for years or even people that I used to see every once in awhile. All people that make up who I am along my life's journey.
One thing I wish I would have done is started to write down the people I have in my dreams. I thought about it last week that I would have quit a list of names if I had started to write them down. I knew at first that I was having these dreams to help me cope with not seeing the people I knew in my everyday life. After about week five I started to think, how long will I be dreaming like this? Today I know it might be awhile. Some dreams have multiple people so that helps. I realize that I have known a lot of people in my life. From jobs that I have had to school.
I have told people when I have had them visit me in my dreams, however there are quit a few that I have not. How weird is it if you tell someone, 'oh I had dream about you last night!' I know that these dreams are not harmful but there are many dreams where I wake myself up crying. I know it's my brains way of coping with a loss. Not that those people are dead but the loss of not having those in my life everyday, once a week or even once a month. Some people I have not seen in years and I don't even know how to tell them.
I wonder what to do with all these dreams.
Happy dreaming.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Smiling faces
I have not written in awhile because I really did not know what to write. After a couple of weeks with a topic in mind I have finally decided to write about smiling faces.
A little smile can make a big difference in someones life. As I took this journey to move across the country I have come across so many different people. All of which are smiling. Everywhere I go I look up and people give a simple smile. While at the grocery store I am walking through the isles and I look up to see someone smiling at me and even saying HI. It is almost like when I first lived in the rural area of Morgantown, Indiana while driving through the country side people would wave to the oncoming driver.
I find myself wondering if those random people I come across would be smiling at me if I were not smiling too or even looking up at them would I see them smiling? I have made this adventure a positive one. Don't get me wrong I feel sad on some days but I remain positive and try to smile as a walk along. Everyone from the people at the check out in the store to meeting people at the church that we have found. People are generally happy and full of smiles to give to a stranger.
I have come across people on this journey that I know were put in my life to get me through this journey. I meet a beautiful women on a flight back to Indiana from San Francisco when I came here for my birthday back in June. I did not even get her name, but she was so kind and we talked the whole way home on a flight from Las Vegas. She had been visiting her daughter here in California and was on her way home to sell her house and pack her life up to come back here to live with her daughter. She had lost her husband to cancer a few years earlier and really had nothing left back home in Indiana but she was reluctant to leaving her life that she knew behind to possibly finish her life here in California with her daughter. I felt so blessed then to have someone to talk to about a journey that I felt might be a possibility in my life and in hers. It was almost like we were meant to meet along our journey to get us through to the next step.
Another women I meet while sitting in a hotel bar waiting on a friend to meet me from Boston. I struck up a conversation with her because there were famous people there at this hotel and that is why she was there, to see these famous people. The famous people ended up being the Mexico soccer team. Being that I have some soccer experience I thought this was pretty cool however, I didn't know any of these famous people and really did not know much about team Mexico. As I sat there and had this conversation with this women she was so nice and shared so much about the surrounding area, the bay area. She helped me pass the time while I sat there waiting. In the end I offered my name and she offered hers. Her name was Cecilia, my mothers name. I gave her hug and told her that it was meant to be that our paths crossed. Just a little smile to get me through on my journey.
I am so thankful for smiling faces that I meet along the way. It definitely makes a difference to have smiling faces that are so welcoming and inviting to a new a different place. I came here to Cupertino not knowing anyone but having people not only here in Cupertino, but also in the San Jose and San Francisco area, a little smile does help me get through along the way.
SMILE! :)
A little smile can make a big difference in someones life. As I took this journey to move across the country I have come across so many different people. All of which are smiling. Everywhere I go I look up and people give a simple smile. While at the grocery store I am walking through the isles and I look up to see someone smiling at me and even saying HI. It is almost like when I first lived in the rural area of Morgantown, Indiana while driving through the country side people would wave to the oncoming driver.
I find myself wondering if those random people I come across would be smiling at me if I were not smiling too or even looking up at them would I see them smiling? I have made this adventure a positive one. Don't get me wrong I feel sad on some days but I remain positive and try to smile as a walk along. Everyone from the people at the check out in the store to meeting people at the church that we have found. People are generally happy and full of smiles to give to a stranger.
I have come across people on this journey that I know were put in my life to get me through this journey. I meet a beautiful women on a flight back to Indiana from San Francisco when I came here for my birthday back in June. I did not even get her name, but she was so kind and we talked the whole way home on a flight from Las Vegas. She had been visiting her daughter here in California and was on her way home to sell her house and pack her life up to come back here to live with her daughter. She had lost her husband to cancer a few years earlier and really had nothing left back home in Indiana but she was reluctant to leaving her life that she knew behind to possibly finish her life here in California with her daughter. I felt so blessed then to have someone to talk to about a journey that I felt might be a possibility in my life and in hers. It was almost like we were meant to meet along our journey to get us through to the next step.
Another women I meet while sitting in a hotel bar waiting on a friend to meet me from Boston. I struck up a conversation with her because there were famous people there at this hotel and that is why she was there, to see these famous people. The famous people ended up being the Mexico soccer team. Being that I have some soccer experience I thought this was pretty cool however, I didn't know any of these famous people and really did not know much about team Mexico. As I sat there and had this conversation with this women she was so nice and shared so much about the surrounding area, the bay area. She helped me pass the time while I sat there waiting. In the end I offered my name and she offered hers. Her name was Cecilia, my mothers name. I gave her hug and told her that it was meant to be that our paths crossed. Just a little smile to get me through on my journey.
I am so thankful for smiling faces that I meet along the way. It definitely makes a difference to have smiling faces that are so welcoming and inviting to a new a different place. I came here to Cupertino not knowing anyone but having people not only here in Cupertino, but also in the San Jose and San Francisco area, a little smile does help me get through along the way.
SMILE! :)
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
STUFF
As I had all of my belongings packed up into boxes before I moved to California I found myself in a boggled dilemma of purging. What should I take with me and what should I get rid of. I went into closets that I had not been into for years. Things that I had not looked at because I didn't need it for immediate use. I saved so much, as many do, thinking "I might need that again!" I felt like I had purged so much before I left for my new journey. I threw things away, I donated many things to goodwill, and I even gave some of the things away to my family. I also told myself I do not know where I am going to live and "I might need that there!"
Once I got here to California and I didn't have any of my belongings other then some clothes. I started to think about all of my stuff that was making it's own journey here and wondering how much I really would use once it got here. I also had to find a place to live within a month and that quickly changed when I realized that if I find a place to live I can register my children for school. Looking at houses I was overwhelmed with where exactly to live. We decided on the third day that we would rent a place until we knew more about the area. That too quickly changed to finding an apartment over a house. All of my thoughts on where I was going to live changed in a matter of weeks if not days. I was looking for someplace close to work and to schools. Some place that would accommodate our family and two dogs. With moving here I had no idea what the area looked like and I did not do much exploring before I came because I was busy making time for family and closing up my life there in Indiana.
I know that I am not alone when I say that I have a collection of things that I believed I needed to save for what I do not know.
Once my stuff arrived here and it was being unloaded off of a truck I stood there looking at it like "what the heck am I going to do with all of this?" I have furniture now that will not fit into an apartment. I have stuff, decorations, childhood memories, clothes, books, papers and more stuff I have no idea what I am going to do with. I had the movers deliver my stuff in two deliveries. One to our new apartment and the other to a storage shed. I have spent the past week and half, which seems like a lifetime, going through the boxes in our apartment wondering where I am going to put my stuff and also purging a few items that I know I really don't or ever needed to hang on to. I will say purging is refreshing in someways I never imagined would be and I also can say I should have purged way before now. I am a collector of things such as old belongings of my grandparents. I have a collection of tea pots that were my grandmothers collection. I have furniture that was both my grandmothers and Dans grandparents. I love nostalgic things that someone once used and to know that my family used it to make memories is a feeling I like. However, what do I do now with all these things that I thought I needed to hang on to? Do I keep them in storage? Do I try to sell them? Do I give them away?
I am thankful in someways that I have this task ahead of me to keep me busy. I am also frustrated in other ways that I have burden myself with so much stuff I thought I had to have.
Let me end on a note to say "YOU DO NOT NEED ALL OF THAT STUFF!!" "START PURGING NOW, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE TO!"
If you do feel like me that maybe one day you will use it again, I am hear to tell you that NO you won't!!! If you have the chance you are going to find something else to buy that you have to have to add to the collection of things you already have.
Down sizing is one of the best things I have done with my life. I will say I never thought or pictured myself living in an apartment again but I am thankful that we made the choice. It helps us to get rid of all of our stuff we will not use and it gives us time to see the surrounding areas and enjoy our time here, once I am done purging my stuff.
Once I got here to California and I didn't have any of my belongings other then some clothes. I started to think about all of my stuff that was making it's own journey here and wondering how much I really would use once it got here. I also had to find a place to live within a month and that quickly changed when I realized that if I find a place to live I can register my children for school. Looking at houses I was overwhelmed with where exactly to live. We decided on the third day that we would rent a place until we knew more about the area. That too quickly changed to finding an apartment over a house. All of my thoughts on where I was going to live changed in a matter of weeks if not days. I was looking for someplace close to work and to schools. Some place that would accommodate our family and two dogs. With moving here I had no idea what the area looked like and I did not do much exploring before I came because I was busy making time for family and closing up my life there in Indiana.
I know that I am not alone when I say that I have a collection of things that I believed I needed to save for what I do not know.
Once my stuff arrived here and it was being unloaded off of a truck I stood there looking at it like "what the heck am I going to do with all of this?" I have furniture now that will not fit into an apartment. I have stuff, decorations, childhood memories, clothes, books, papers and more stuff I have no idea what I am going to do with. I had the movers deliver my stuff in two deliveries. One to our new apartment and the other to a storage shed. I have spent the past week and half, which seems like a lifetime, going through the boxes in our apartment wondering where I am going to put my stuff and also purging a few items that I know I really don't or ever needed to hang on to. I will say purging is refreshing in someways I never imagined would be and I also can say I should have purged way before now. I am a collector of things such as old belongings of my grandparents. I have a collection of tea pots that were my grandmothers collection. I have furniture that was both my grandmothers and Dans grandparents. I love nostalgic things that someone once used and to know that my family used it to make memories is a feeling I like. However, what do I do now with all these things that I thought I needed to hang on to? Do I keep them in storage? Do I try to sell them? Do I give them away?
I am thankful in someways that I have this task ahead of me to keep me busy. I am also frustrated in other ways that I have burden myself with so much stuff I thought I had to have.
Let me end on a note to say "YOU DO NOT NEED ALL OF THAT STUFF!!" "START PURGING NOW, DO NOT WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE TO!"
If you do feel like me that maybe one day you will use it again, I am hear to tell you that NO you won't!!! If you have the chance you are going to find something else to buy that you have to have to add to the collection of things you already have.
Down sizing is one of the best things I have done with my life. I will say I never thought or pictured myself living in an apartment again but I am thankful that we made the choice. It helps us to get rid of all of our stuff we will not use and it gives us time to see the surrounding areas and enjoy our time here, once I am done purging my stuff.
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Direction
When you want to find your way while you on vacation or to a place you have not been before you typically would ask for directions or use a map, well that's the old school way. I can remember going on a road trip when I was growing up and my dad had a map that he kept in the front with my mom. I can remember looking over my moms shoulder at the excitement of seeing where we going and which way the map told us to go. The adventure was always different but it was always a journey. I have used my google maps more then I can count and I will tell all that my saving grace these last couple of weeks has been Yelp. We definitely hit the ground running. Everything about our old life is different. From grocery shopping to restaurant options. I knew it would be and watching it unfold before our eyes has been fun and challenging. Challenging because we know no one and we miss everyone we know. Living in an apartment for one is different from the vast open country that we have come from. Country living is nice. Looking at the trees and listening to the birds. Seeing all the green grass and open fields of corn or whatever the farmer has planted. As I looked into the maps to find my way around I found that I traded the open fields for pavement and buildings. There are trees here and there are birds. There are also mountains to look at. Driving through the mountains were amazing and see the crops here were pretty cool too. The ocean view was amazing in itself.
After using my yelp to find stores and food, I used my google maps app to find directions to things like the mountains, the beach, different cities, the golden gate bridge and even muir woods.
I am thankful for my maps and yelp to help me find direction to where I am going. Without direction I do not know where I am going. I have direction from not only a map but from Dan and my kids. They do not come with a map but they have helped me find my way as to where I am going. With Dan I have found a new way of living and a new place to live. Because of his job I had direction as where to live, very close to work. Because of my kids I had direction as to where to live, close to good schools.
We will be living in an apartment for the next year but it will all work out. It's not what I had imagined for my life in the direction it was taking but it is a good choice. I know that with any direction I go in I will be ok. I have my family by my side. It isn't easy and there are challenging days. We don't have all of our family with us and those are days that are challenging. The days we wish we had everything we were used to. However we know that the new direction will be ok and finding our new direction will work out.
Can't wait to see and hug our family!
Monday, August 4, 2014
Indiana to California
One week ago I was cleaning up after I had a farewell party in my back yard. I invited a few close friends and all of my family, both sides of coarse. It was so amazing that I was able to have this apart of our adventure. There were lots of tears that were shed but I was doing it with the ones I love. As I sat there on my porch the next day I reflected that how amazing it was to be able to have the people in my everyday life all come together in my back yard. Some knew each other and others didn't but it was all such a blessing and a good feeling to have hugs from all.
On Monday July 28 we had packers arrive at our house in Peoga and start the packing process. They packed everything, including all of my clothes. All I had was the clothes that were dirty. (oh my) I tried not to panic as I watch all of my belongings go into boxes. I told myself there was no use in a panic to just try to relax and let it happen.
On Tuesday July 29 the first people to arrive at our house were Hendrickson/Trietsch family to say goodbye to our dogs. Shortly after that there was a gentleman that arrived at our home to pick up Gracie and Sugar Pi to take them on their journey to Chicago and then to fly to California on a direct flight the following day. After they left there was a tow truck that arrived to take are vehicles. Both cars were loaded up and then left. Ginger came with the boys to be with us for the day. Ginger helped me with trying to clean out closets and throw away left over belongings that were not going to California. After several hours of waiting for the movers to come and pack all of our boxes into a truck, we realized that they were not coming. With great disappointment I tried once again not to panic. I was upset because I wanted to be able to clean up after they left and that was not going to happen. My parents came after work to say goodbye to us. Hugs for everyone and Ginger, Tristan, Kellen, Mom and dad were on their way. I spent a few more hours there at the house and then we left to have dinner with the Trietsch/Hendrickson's. We came home for a last minute packing of our personal belongings and then we held each other in the hallway to say our nightly prayers and said goodbye to our home.
We said our goodbyes to the Trietsch/Hendrickson's and as the other goodbyes it was hard too. Hugs for everyone more then once and then we were off.
On Wednesday July 30 we left Indianapolis on a direct flight to San Francisco. It was a four and half hour flight. The flight was good and we arrived safely to our new home city. We got our rental car and then found a place to eat lunch. After lunch we found our temporary housing, an apartment. Sugar pi and Gracie come right after we arrived. They were happy to see us.
We had pizza for dinner and then went to bed early since we had not gotten that much sleep the night before. Early was 7pm here and 10pm at home.
After being here I will say I am very overwhelmed with all of my senses. Just the fact that I am five minutes away from everything. Everything being "town" where all of the stores and food and work are. As many in my life know I am used to driving about 30min to an hour just to get where I was going..."going to town" :)
On Monday July 28 we had packers arrive at our house in Peoga and start the packing process. They packed everything, including all of my clothes. All I had was the clothes that were dirty. (oh my) I tried not to panic as I watch all of my belongings go into boxes. I told myself there was no use in a panic to just try to relax and let it happen.
On Tuesday July 29 the first people to arrive at our house were Hendrickson/Trietsch family to say goodbye to our dogs. Shortly after that there was a gentleman that arrived at our home to pick up Gracie and Sugar Pi to take them on their journey to Chicago and then to fly to California on a direct flight the following day. After they left there was a tow truck that arrived to take are vehicles. Both cars were loaded up and then left. Ginger came with the boys to be with us for the day. Ginger helped me with trying to clean out closets and throw away left over belongings that were not going to California. After several hours of waiting for the movers to come and pack all of our boxes into a truck, we realized that they were not coming. With great disappointment I tried once again not to panic. I was upset because I wanted to be able to clean up after they left and that was not going to happen. My parents came after work to say goodbye to us. Hugs for everyone and Ginger, Tristan, Kellen, Mom and dad were on their way. I spent a few more hours there at the house and then we left to have dinner with the Trietsch/Hendrickson's. We came home for a last minute packing of our personal belongings and then we held each other in the hallway to say our nightly prayers and said goodbye to our home.
We said our goodbyes to the Trietsch/Hendrickson's and as the other goodbyes it was hard too. Hugs for everyone more then once and then we were off.
On Wednesday July 30 we left Indianapolis on a direct flight to San Francisco. It was a four and half hour flight. The flight was good and we arrived safely to our new home city. We got our rental car and then found a place to eat lunch. After lunch we found our temporary housing, an apartment. Sugar pi and Gracie come right after we arrived. They were happy to see us.
We had pizza for dinner and then went to bed early since we had not gotten that much sleep the night before. Early was 7pm here and 10pm at home.
After being here I will say I am very overwhelmed with all of my senses. Just the fact that I am five minutes away from everything. Everything being "town" where all of the stores and food and work are. As many in my life know I am used to driving about 30min to an hour just to get where I was going..."going to town" :)
Sunday, July 20, 2014
New Blog ...New Adventure
I have not written in a few years. I just opened up my blog account to look at it and I realized after reading my blogs posts I missed this and why didn't I keep up with it? Why? Because I started on a new adventure and it was going to school. I decided back in 2009 to go back to school and I did. I have been taking college courses for the past four years full time. I am still not done and I am not going back to finish at this time. WHY? Because at this time I start on a new adventure of a life time.
My love of my life has gotten the job of his dreams. Ok sounds sappy but its true. I really do love my husband and he really is my soul mate. I would follow him to the moon or even to the end of the universe into the other universes that lie out there in galaxies far far away.
I am moving 2,400 miles away from everything that I have known for the past 27 years. I swore when I was 18 that I would never end up where I am and now I am sad to see that part of my life end. I am confident that I will find a new normal. One that is a good as this one. Only because I moved when I was younger several times and ended up here. At first I thought it was the end of the world. As I have gotten older I realize that this is not the end of the world but only the beginning. Trafalgar Indiana, or Peoga Lakes to be more exact, was never a home I could have dreamed of it being. I followed the man of my dreams here and made a home for me and my family. I know that now as I prepare to take my my family on a new adventure that it will be ok because as before I am following the man of my dreams.
I know that this is going to be sad and many tears have already been shed. More are going to come but I know just as before God has given me so much and he will continue to give me more. God is good!
I therefore have started this blog up again to help me express myself and my adventures. If no one but myself reads this that is ok but if others do that is ok too.
On to the new adventures of Spice Girl Cinnie!
<3
My love of my life has gotten the job of his dreams. Ok sounds sappy but its true. I really do love my husband and he really is my soul mate. I would follow him to the moon or even to the end of the universe into the other universes that lie out there in galaxies far far away.
I am moving 2,400 miles away from everything that I have known for the past 27 years. I swore when I was 18 that I would never end up where I am and now I am sad to see that part of my life end. I am confident that I will find a new normal. One that is a good as this one. Only because I moved when I was younger several times and ended up here. At first I thought it was the end of the world. As I have gotten older I realize that this is not the end of the world but only the beginning. Trafalgar Indiana, or Peoga Lakes to be more exact, was never a home I could have dreamed of it being. I followed the man of my dreams here and made a home for me and my family. I know that now as I prepare to take my my family on a new adventure that it will be ok because as before I am following the man of my dreams.
I know that this is going to be sad and many tears have already been shed. More are going to come but I know just as before God has given me so much and he will continue to give me more. God is good!
I therefore have started this blog up again to help me express myself and my adventures. If no one but myself reads this that is ok but if others do that is ok too.
On to the new adventures of Spice Girl Cinnie!
<3
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)